Prunetucky     (back to MBN catalog - "P")

March 24, 2015:

Bombarded about Prunetucky

                   
     most famous citizen, early years        most famous citizen, later years                   the beating heart of Prunedale

In the wake of the mentioning Inner, Outer, True and Old Prunetucky in last week's weekly availability (below), a vast volume of phone calls and emails followed. As a result, a few more things needed to be said. First, everyone can't be from Prunetucky. I am going to take a lot of heat on this, but there have to be limits on who gets included, and lots of you just have to accept that you are going to be left out. Sorry.

Next, I wasn't strictliy correct in saying we are located in Outer Prunetucky. More correctly, we actually are in Greater Prunetucky, that being the immediate bordering areas of  Inner or True Prunetucky proper and also where people look towards that civic nerve center for moral, spiritual and economic leadership. Roughly speaking that's northern Salinas, San Juan Bautista, Hollister, Old Chittenden Pass up through Y Road, Elkhorn, Las Lomas and Pajaro.

(FYI, by and large this is where the Gold Rush miner-turned bandit (or hero) Joaquin Murrietta, by far the most famous Prunetuckian and real-life inspiration for the legend of Zoro, spent most of his time drinking stealing horses and drinking cervezas. His massive treasure hoard was never been found, but it is strongly rumored to be buried within Inner or Outer Prunetucky, specifically among the big rocks along 101 just north of the Big Red Barn.)

Outer Prunetucky on the other hand encompasses a much larger area, starting down around Chualar, running south all the way to San Ardo, over to Coalinga, down through Lost Hills, Taft, Lamont, picking up all of Bakersfield, and Oildale, scooping up Wasco and Shafter, then skirting the nicer parts of Fresno, and ending its northern boundary at Firebaugh or Dos Palos, depending on who is arguing the point.

Finally, as borders are always going to be fuzzy, and wiggly, let's just say that if you find yourself surrounded by large lots, with lawns that constitute a fire hazard, where 55 gallon drums are randomly sprinkled around, mostly on their sides, and there's maybe a car or two up on blocks, sinking into the ground, or some derelict heavy equipment, and often an old cow stumbling over everything, or maybe lots and lots of roosters, and right next door is a McMansion with a faux red brick facade and tall white Georgian columns, then you are probably in Greater Prunetucky.

So if you don't meet the above criteria, and it's important to you, you're just going to have to move!

March 12, 2015:

Friday the 13th   are you superstitious? The only way to deter bad luck is to buy, or even just want to buy, a whole lot of something on this day. This ensures harmony and good luck, according to the folklore of the ancient Prunetuckians, within which whose ancestral territory our nursery happens to be located.(Actually we're in Outer Prunetucky, as opposed to Inner Prunetucky, aka True Prunetucky or Old Prunetucky, as defined by legal boundary of Prunedale itself.) Most ominously, on the Old Prunetucky Universal Calendar, only fragments of which have been found, the date for the End of the Earth was predicted as happening on  "Royaloaks," which was their name for the only day, a very special yet tragic day, on which the number "pi" ( π ) exactly lines up with its own date, which happens to be  .  .  .  oh no!  .  .   tomorrow!


                   Wikipedia


(back to MBN catalog - "P")